Thursday, March 13, 2014

'Limitless': Jazz trio as delicious treat

By BRAD WEISMANN

Limitless
Stranahan/Zaleski/Rosato
Capri Records
2013




“There is still much good music that can be written in C major.” – Arnold Schoenberg

What does jazz have to do to get your attention? Before you throw a bunch of stats at me about how jazz is coming back, don’t. Among the great unwashed, it’s considered a dead-end genre, a played-out seam of reward.

Of course, this means that the impetus for development must derive entirely from the musicians. In this marginalized music, innovation is a function of need. This new CD I’ve been playing over and over is grounded solidly in traditional form, but takes free flight whenever necessary, landing again as adroitly as a seabird on a beach. That “Limitless” is so widely expressive and listenable testifies to the abilities of this jazz trio of coloring both inside and outside the lines, to great effect.

“Limitless,” the second collaboration by drummer Colin Stranahan, pianist Glenn Zaleski, and bassist Rick Rosato, is a solid, elegant, thought-filled journey through three acute sensitivities yoked in sound. Capri’s top-notch studio techniques give every nuance – very necessary for musicians that work as subtly as these do.

The attack is pointillistic, founded on Stranahan’s light touch behind the drum kit. Zaleski’s piano varies block chords and loose meanders of melody. Rick Rosato is not only rock-solid on the bass, but emits bursts of lyricism in pieces such as his composition “Vio” on the recording.

The result is crisp, fractal, chewy, music that rewards frequent listens. From the nimble antics of the opening title track to the booming, solemn chords of “Chorale (for Fred Hersch)” at the close, “Limitless” is its own reward.

LISTEN: The trio performing "Forecast" from the recording at Dazzle jazz club in Denver, Colorado, on Nov. 1, 2013!

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Tuesday, January 14, 2014

EARGASM: Bananalieder -- Songs that celebrate a silly fruit*

By BRAD WEISMANN

*with special bonus irrelevant anecdote at end of story!

"Bananas are great, as I believe them to be the only known cure for existential dread."
-- Anne Lamott

Well, I thought this would be a lot easier. How many songs about bananas could there be?

A lot.

This all started due to my chipper early-morning nature, which my delusions still tell me is a darn good way to awaken and motivate little slug-a-beds. I tend to thump around the house at dawn, belting out forgotten hits such as “Stout-hearted Men,” “They All Laughed,” and the like. It is a trait despised by all.

This particular cockcrow I was massaging my tonsils with a rendition of “Yes, We Have No Bananas.” My youngest, with a sweet precociousness derived from viewings of the Disney Channel, called out, “Dad, SHUT UP!”

Later, though, she wanted to hear it again. (Yes! Another generation warped!) I played the original version for her, and then started poking around online. Did you realize there was an answer-song to “Yes, We Have No Bananas”? Did you realize how many songs there were about bananas, and how many of them were dirty? Why are bananas so damn funny, anyway? Do you care? Hello?

First of all, what is the big deal about the banana? Is it, along with the pickle, God’s designated punch-line foodstuff? I can make a few surmises – it’s relatively new to Western consciousness (introduced in the U.S. only in 1870); it’s colorful; it’s funny-LOOKING; it’s delicious (see bonus irrelevant anecdote at the end of the story!) and damn near impossible to eat incorrectly. (The old joke is, the farmer was given a bunch of bananas for the first time. The giver returns days later and asks if the farmer liked them. “They sure did taste good,” the farmer replies. “Purty big cobs, though.”)

And it resembles the male generative organ (“Only larger,” yes, I hear you in the back of the room). We have banana-phrases locked into our collective consciousness. Where would comedy be without slipping on a banana peel, getting hit in the face with a banana-cream pie? There are the bountiful joys of the banana split, and the more sinister connotations of the banana republic.

Anyway, given that I have a desk full of really important projects to work on, I digressed enthusiastically into this matter as only I can. I’ve dug up more than 100 banana-flavored songs, arranged them in six somewhat-neat categories, and filtered out the ones that did nothing for me – although I love the titles of songs such as “Banana in Your Fruit Basket,” “Bipolar Banana Cake,” “Smokin’ Banana Peels,” and I liked more serious musical essays on the topic by the likes of Radiohead and the Boomtown Rats.


First and foremost, in a category by itself, is “Day-O (The Banana Boat Song),” a Jamaican “mento” work song sold as a calypso-style song and made famous by Harry Belafonte via his 1955 performance on TV’s “Colgate Comedy Hour.”


Its explosive international popularity led to an American mini-craze for calypso music, and a raft of covers by all manner of performers, parodies, and tributes -- most of them astonishingly Caucasian in their un-funky rendition. It’s become a mini-meme.

















INSTRUMENTAL

Many instrumentals appropriate banana in the title, usually to give the listener a cue that it will be “tropical” in tone and rhythm. Just throwing the word “banana” in the title seems to give the composer the internal license to be upbeat, more vibrant. There are no dirges with “banana” in them.

Monkey Banana – Fela Kuti


Fried Bananas – Dexter Gordon



Bananas -- Sam Bush



La Banana – Extra Latino
Banana Jam – Great Blue
Banana Oil – (Hank Mowery, Memphis Slim, Shirley Jackson)
Banana Cake – SkamboMambo
Banana Hit – The Dead Rocks
Banana Machucada – SaGram

TROPICAL GENRE

Here reside both superlative and corny stabs at pure tropical delight – our fondness in them in large part a legacy of the resurgence in U.S. interest in South American culture once World War II was finished. Of course, this being the United States, this interest didn’t manifest itself as an upsurge in discussion of the works of Borges and Paz. No – it was an upsurge in people taking mambo, cha-cha, and rumba lessons!

Chiclete com Banana – Gilberto Gil



Jodel Banana – Monika Kaelin



Mi Banana – Los Tupamaros
Vendedor de Bananas – Jorge Ben
Guabi Guabi -- George Sibendi

WEIRDNESS

These are just so odd, they deserve deep browsing by aficionados -- 

The Fantastic Story of the Steam-Driven Banana – Legay


Rotten Banana Legs – Skankin’ Pickle


The Road of Love is Paved with Banana Skins – BMX Bandits


Banana Nation – Lazlo Jones
Lady Banana – Tony Ronald
Bananenhaus – Die Roten Punkte
Banana Song – Anton Barbeau
Banana Bacana – Andrea Marquee
Banana Town – Coast is Clear
Banana Mae – Why?
Banana Juice – Vallanzaska

KID STUFF

This category consists of tunes written specifically for children; however, parents who want to make playlists are encouraged to browse through the “Silly” roster as well --

Banana Slug – Bungee Jumpin’ Cows



Banana Splits Theme Song -- from the Hanna/Barbera '60s kid show



Mama Will You Buy Me a Banana -- Ross Sutter



Banana Song – Minions
Banana Phone – Raffi
Banana Song – Willie Walker
Banana Pants (Dangerous and Stinky)

SILLY

From music-hall songs to contemporary works, this gallery of goofiness is irresistible!

Yes, We Have No Bananas – Bailey’s Lucky Seven



I’ve Got the Yes We Have No Bananas Blues – Eddie Cantor



30,000 Pounds of Bananas -- Harry Chapin



I’m Going Bananas – Madonna



I Like Bananas Because They Have No Bones – Hoosier Hot Shots



I’m a Chiquita Banana -- the Chiquita Bananas


Loving You Has Made Me Bananas – Guy Marx



Japanese Banana – Alvin and the Chipmunks



Banana Split for My Baby – Louis Prima



Put a Banana in Your Ear – Jason Steele



I Am a Banana – Parry Gripp



Top Banana – Phil Silvers

I’ve Never Seen a Straight Banana – Fred Waring’s Pennsylvanians, Tiny Tim



When Banana Skins Are Falling – Slim Galliard



Banana Split – The McGuire Sisters



Banana Boy – Suvi
My Banana Canon – Ian Ross Williams
Two Ladies in the Shade of the Banana Tree – Caterina Valente or Ethel Azama or Pearl Bailey
Banana Pancakes – Jack Johnson
Anna Banana – The Knuckleheads
Anna Banana – Paul James
Banana Oil – Vaughn de Leath
Juanita banana – JJ Defer et s’n orchess’ or Luis Aguile

SUGGESTIVE/ADULTS ONLY

Hey, this all started with the curiosity of my 10-year-old. No, dear, you can’t listen to these. I have tried to err on the side of caution – none of these are SFW or family-friendly . . . unless you have a very interesting family.

Please Don’t Squeeze the Banana – Louis Prima
Banana Man – Tally Hall
Bananas and Blow – Ween
My Wife Left Town with a Banana – Carlos Borzenie
Banana Pants – Mr. Smith
I Want a Banana – Arthur Ashley
Banana – Mr.Baller Baller
Banana Anna – Nicky Hopkins
Cheap Banana – The Bloggers, DJ Grey
Banana for the Monkey – Ray Gibson
Banana – The Wigglers

SPECIAL BONUS IRRELEVANT ANECDOTE!

My sister traveled in Europe, and once brought back a boyfriend from the former East Germany. Klaus, or Klausie-poo, as we sometimes called him, was a nice guy, despite his unfamiliarity with English, which could get him into trouble. (For a short time, in accordance with a prankster’s directions, he greeted people warmly, “Hello, buttmunch!”) Klaus was trying to describe the privations and shortages he grew up with in the communist state’s planned economy. One thing no one in East Berlin had ever had were bananas. Once the Wall came down, they became a hot commodity. Klaus described it thus: “Everyone was running around with bananas in their eyes!” A wonderful visual to summon up the lure and thrill of materialism.

(There. I’ve waited 20 years to relate that anecdote, however tangentially, to something I was writing. Gaaaaah!)

Banalieder addendum: Discovered recently, Kurt Elling's setting of Wendy Cope's "The Uncertainty of a Poet"




Monday, December 23, 2013

I don't do yahrzeits; or: good grief!

I don’t do yahrzeits.

In case you were wondering what those are, they are a widespread and ingrained part of Jewish tradition.

It’s the observation and commemoration of the date of death of a close relative, spouse, or friend – parents, particularly. The kaddish (mourner’s prayer) is recited, a candle is lit, a palpable act of tzedakah (charity) is encouraged, and Torah can studied in honor of the memory of the deceased.

Sounds laudable. And very depressing.

My mother died a year ago today. I have my share of problems about that . . . but commemorating it doesn’t help to solve any of them. (Yes I did say kaddish for her for 11 months. I’m not a complete monster.)

Maybe I don’t feel the pull of the ritual because I’m a relatively new Jew. I come from Lutherans, from the shady Christian hollows and hilltops of the Missouri River valley, Alexander Payne country, right around Omaha, where the blues are more commonly referred to as “our Scandinavian heritage.” It’s Garrison Keillor without the charm. Performed in stiff motions of despair.

In that primal culture, death is seen as a relief from earthly trials. More accurately, life is conceived of as one long “American Gladiators”-style competition against temptation, sin, and error. A vestibule crowded with a kaleidoscope of potential soul-destroying torments to be sidestepped.

Plus, we had this quirky family tradition of TAKING A PICTURE OF THE DEAD RELATIVE.

IN THE COFFIN.

AND HANGING IT IN THE LIVING ROOM.

My paternal grandparents’ walls looked like they were hung with pictures of fallen Pez dispensers. This is not OK, I thought then but confirmed objectively years later. This kind of familial focus on the Grim Reaper explains much of my reluctance to memorialize the departed.

In fact, we spent our fair share of time in cemeteries, sprucing up our people’s plots, or just taking a drive out to visit that field full of unresponsive relatives. Out of boredom, I would run up and down as a kid, vaulting over the headstones, until my grandma caught me and scolded me out of it.

Dad’s death, 20 years ago, didn’t help. The first mortuary we went to, the guy started off by saying, “Well, what can I help you with?” We moved on. Later, the unfamiliar minister faked his way through Dad’s eulogy, throwing in a plug for the funeral home smack dab in the middle of it.

I did make a habit of visiting his grave on the Day of the Dead. I thought treating it as a festive occasion was at least a move in the right direction. And those visits did actually lead finally to a kind of peace for me. So, memorialization works.

But Mom got cremated. So . . . she’s out blowing around somewhere right now. That’s not comforting.

More to the point – if I’m going to remember someone, why am I going to remember them on THE DAY THEY DIED? I can testify from personal experience that this is not when people are really at their best.

“Hey, remember that day Mom died?” is just not something I’m willing to entertain. It seems -- gauche.

Plus there’s the letter. I know it’s traditional, but I don’t want an ecclesiastical form letter reminding me of what happened, especially one containing a donation suggestion and envelope. Nope. Don’t like that.

So, smartass, I ask myself, how should you remember someone? I would pick out the nice bits to mull over, to start. That’s what I’ve been doing.

For better or worse, the parental influence is pervasive. I work in the arts, after a childhood my mother flooded with films, books, and music. I write; she wanted to. I read my kids Laura Ingalls Wilder with the same intonations Mom used. And we all seem to laugh in the same places.

So I currently choose just to remember the funny stuff. That’s what I can handle, that’s where I’m at. When I go, don’t light a candle or nail a little brass plaque to anything.

It’s like the old joke:

The teacher asks the class what their fathers do for a living.

Little Betty says, “My daddy’s a doctor!”

Little Billy says, “My dad works at the grocery store!”

Little Jimmy doesn’t say anything. Teacher asks him, “What about YOUR daddy, Jimmy?”

Jimmy says, “My daddy’s dead.”

Teacher says, “Oh, dear, I’m so sorry. Tell me, what did he do before he died?”

Jimmy clutches his chest and yells, “GGGGAAAAHHHGAKAKAKAKAAUGHHHH!”

Just remember the funny stuff.

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Prologue: ‘I think I’ll just come in’

I have been ignoring the best writing advice I ever got.

In the foreword to radio comedian Fred Allen’s autobiography, “Much Ado about Me,” Fred relates advice John Steinbeck gave him.

“. . . try to remember it so clearly that you can see things: what colors and how warm or cold and how you got there. Then try to remember people. And then just tell what happened. . . . Put it all in. Don’t try to organize it. . . . Don’t think back over what you have done. Don’t think of literary form. Let it get out as it wants to. . . . cutting comes later. The form will develop in the telling.”

The one time I followed these dicta I produced my most odd and most widely-read independently published story to date (it didn’t hurt that it centered on midget wrestling). It took over a year to write, and it probably shows. It was the most challenging and the most rewarding project I have undertaken to date.

And I couldn’t get anyone to buy it.

I’ve been writing for 40 years, professionally for 30. Along the way I’ve written standup, sketch comedy, plays, for radio and TV, newspapers, magazines, and websites. I’ve interviewed famous people, covered crime, tracked political upheavals, and written about just about every art form on the planet. I have a leg up on all the templates, in style as well as form -- the advertisement disguised as breaking news, the heart-tugging feature, the seemingly balanced analysis, and the crooked results imposed by all the teapot tempests and pet peeves of moneyed clients, publishers, owners, editors, and controlling interests.

At any given moment I am writing or selling something. This incessant practice has led to a craftsmanship of which I am justly proud. But what good is it to crank out technically perfect and quite readable stories about shit? In comedy, it’s called being a hack. This slew of imitative, safe, predictable content producers persist everywhere, shovel the publishers’ furnaces full of words that curl, crisp, burn and are ash-expelled in the blink of an eye. The avalanche of data continues, whether I pitch in or not.

In this post-journalism world, acting as a communicator for private interests is no better. Hey, believe me, I tried to sell out! Over and over again, I attempted to gain acceptance, to find a group to be a part of, to sand down my prickly talents to fit the required measurements. Few takers. My level of talent, my faint-heartedness, my sheer self-destructive cussedness, luck, destiny has seen to that. So what do I want? Not to engage in precocious journaling, or addled gonzo narratives. What is the way out of the impasse?

Truth, first. Why is speaking the truth such an imperative? I grew up surrounded by lies and evasion, I developed a desire for truth. To root the truth out of myself, a practiced dissembler. Not facts. Truth. I’ve seen too many pages of bland facts obscure the truth. Alan Moore, in his “Promethea,” states that humans are amphibians of the psyche, half in the world of reality and half in the world of imagination. I would like to hear the clear clang of these hemispheres colliding in my head, for once, instead of being worried about it or muffling it with fears.

So, an approach that blends the reality and the imagination, the personal and the general. Open, relaxed, and conversational, admitting bias and uncertainty. Playing up and down the spectrum of the dynamic paradox.

What if I write with the intent of seeing what happens? Am I capable of being honest? Above all, will it be interesting? Enjoyable? Helpful? Readable? A kind of Fourth Step for public consumption? At this point, it does not matter. I am still turning out the standard fare for fun and profit. But it’s not enough.

Look for installments in my “Pursuit of Happiness” series in the months to come, centering on such unoffending topics such as sex, drugs, God, money, power, society, family. Maybe it’ll be fascinating, maybe it’ll be crap. Maybe it’ll be both. We’ll see, won’t we?

The source of the title quote comes from an anecdote I recall reading about actor Ralph Richardson, which of course I can’t find the source of now. Still, it sticks in my mind so strongly that, if it is not true, it oughta be. Evidently Richardson was a stickler for establishing his character with his first entrance. Well, in a show in later life, he could not get his entrance down. He drove the director and his fellow actors mad for weeks, trying every conceivable way to get on stage in character.

Finally, the night before opening, Richardson went to the director and told him he had solved the problem. “I think I’ll just come in,” he said.

I think I’ll just come in.

"In dark times, the definition of good art would seem to be art that locates and applies CPR to those elements of what's human and magical that still live and glow despite the times' darkness. Really good fiction could have as dark a worldview as it wished, but it'd find a way both to depict this world and to illuminate the possibilities for being alive and human in it." – David Foster Wallace


Thursday, December 12, 2013

EARGASM: 'Bertolt Brecht before the Committee on Un-American Activities'

“Bertolt Brecht before the Committee on Un-American Activities”
Folkways
1963

OK, not the catchiest title. However, if you learn the context behind this recording, it becomes a riveting piece of theater, one composed on the fly by the master playwright Brecht himself – under the threat of imprisonment and deportation.

Bertolt Brecht is the one of the most influential playwrights and poets of the 20th century. Coming of age in chaotic Weimar Germany of the 1920s, he began his career as a balladeer and cabaret performer of anarchist bent. Beginning in 1926, his study of Marx and socialism led him to develop stunning works that eviscerated the capitalist system and what we now term the military/industrial complex – in plays such as “The Threepenny Opera,” “Mahagonny,” and “Mother Courage.” He also worked with writing collectives to create a didactic “teaching theater” that would hasten a people’s revolution, preferably a Communist one.

Of course, Hitler didn’t like this at all. In February 1933, Brecht began his long hopscotching exile from Germany, settling first in Denmark and then, as German troops moved closer, to America. From 1941 through 1947 Brecht joined the American colony of European writers and artists dispossessed by the Nazis. During his time in New York and Los Angeles, he became familiar with prominent American theater and film people. He wrote “Galileo” for Charles Laughton, and penned the screenplay for “Hangmen Also Die!”, a thriller based on the assassination of fearsome Nazi Reinhard Heydrich in 1942.

Unfortunately, Brecht made the American government just as nervous as the Nazi government. The FBI began tracking his movements and monitoring his phone calls and mail almost from the moment he landed. His open Marxist leanings, along with his friendships and collaborations with numerous Communist artists (most notably the composer Hanns Eisler) left him open to scrutiny. On Sept. 19, 1947, he was subpoenaed to appear before the House Un-American Activities Committee, along with 18 other writers, directors, and performers who were tarred with the brush of association with “Communist influence.”

Brecht was the only non-American named; as a resident alien his legal status was somewhat more secure than his uniformly uncooperative, combative fellows. They could be jailed up to a year for contempt of Congress (and were – Dalton Trumbo yelled, as he was hauled out of the hearing, “This is the beginning of an American concentration camp!”); Brecht could only be deported – but could be held indefinitely before that happened. Not wanting to lose his freedom, Brecht planned and rehearsed his appearance with his lawyers. Finally, on Oct. 30, he went in front of the Committee, five newsreel cameras, and a host of microphones.

The key to his strategy was to appear as cooperative as possible, while not admitting anything that might get him in trouble. Unlike many idealists of the time, Brecht had a strong pragmatic streak. He didn’t believe in martyrdom – at least, not as far as he himself was concerned. He played the language barrier for all it was worth, engaging a translator when he did not really need one. He even resolved to smoke cigars throughout the hearing – giving him a chance to delay his responses and inflect his timing, much in the style of George Burns, Groucho Marx, and other cheroot-wielding comics.

The recording, produced in the spring of 1963, is narrated by Brecht champion and translator Eric Bentley, whose learned interpolations add much. He sets the scene and explains much of the texts and individuals referred to by Brecht’s questioners.

What follows is what Bentley terms a “Brechtian tragicomedy”; James K. Lyon in his book “Brecht in America” calls it simply “a polite exercise in cunning and duplicity that lasted a full hour.”

Chief Investigator Robert E. Stripling’s harsh, nasal Southern twang dominates. Brecht, in contrast, is halting, seems shy, sometimes plaintive – but level-headed and seemingly cooperative and detailed in response.

To demonstrate the conceptual gap here, Stripling asks Brecht what he does for a living.

“I am a playwright and a poet,” Brecht answers.

Without a pause, Stripling asks, “Where are you presently employed?”

It’s like listening to Bugs Bunny being grilled by a panel of Elmer Fudds, to the amusement of the live studio audience. (The repeated laughter of the crowd in the hearing room gives the whole affair an unreal comic sheen.)

When asked, Brecht says, “I am a guest in this country and do not want to enter into any legal arguments so I will answer your question fully as well I can. I was not a member or am not a member of any Communist party.” Now this, ironically, is certainly true – our ever-clever friend never officially joined the Communist Party.

“Is it true that you have written a number of very revolutionary poems, plays, and other writings?”

Brecht characterizes his works as anti-Fascist, not pro-Communist.

He is asked if he knows composer Hanns Eisler. Brecht’s friend and collaborator of 20 years, like him a refugee from Hitler in America, is at the very time Brecht is speaking, under arrest, awaiting his deportation hearing for Communist leanings (Eisler’s brother Gerhart was head of Germany’s Weimar-era Communists, and supposedly ran the American Communist effort during and after the Second World War.) Brecht knows all this. He minimizes his connection to Eisler.

The hollow drawl of Stripling drives on, as Brecht calmly sidesteps. Stripling addresses Brecht’s 1930 cantata with Eisler “The Measures Taken” -- a rigidly doctrinaire play that endorses political murder in the name of international Communism. Brecht equivocates (in fact he and his heirs denied permission to perform the play until 1997, which indicates some distaste for it).

Stripling begins to read from a translation, a riot in itself to hear:

“My heart is beating for the revolution
The witnessing of wrongdoing drove me into the lines of the fighting
Man must help man
I am for freedom
I believe in mankind
And I am for the rules of the Communist Party
Which fights for the classless society”

Brecht fobs it off as a bad translation.

The questioning runs out of steam, despite a few more sallies by Stripling. Brecht is commended for his forthrightness.

“You’re a good example” to the other witnesses, he is told, and dismissed. He leaves. Less than 24 hours later, he is on a flight to Europe. He would never return to the U.S.

Bentley states that Brecht kept a recording of the proceedings and would play it for laughs. Of the Committee, Brecht said, “They weren’t as bad as the Nazis. The Nazis would never have let me smoke.”

No matter how lightly Brecht played it later, it could not have been less than a harrowing experience for him. Like so many of his bitter, clever heroes and heroines, Brecht had dreams for mankind but saw all too clearly how the world goes. In this most real piece of political theater, he kept his freedom, didn’t rat out his friends, and glibly deceived the U.S. Congress in a language not his own.

Brecht, Eisler and others constantly found themselves on the outs – in Nazi Germany, in supposedly democratic America . . . finally, even in Communist East Germany, where they grew disaffected from the revolution they helped make. Whether the artistic person is fated always to end up in this position is another story entirely. Meanwhile, Brecht’s victory on this recording is little but profound.



[A personal note: I first heard this on vinyl at my friend B's house in Kansas City in '80 or '81. He was a crazy artist, and when we weren't pulling tubes and checking out the Buddhist art at the Nelson, we were bandying socialist concepts. That young-adult glee at the prospect of a trickster outfoxing the Man was intoxicating.]

Sunday, October 6, 2013

CULTURAMA: The Mystery of Malvert

As little-known an artist as Ollie Jo Prater, S.P. Dinsmoor, or Vivian Maier, Patrick Boone Varnell plied his trade in near-obscurity. As fleetingly as a firefly, he sped across our field of vision and vanished. Who was he, and for what purposes was he used?

He was born in Lawton, Oklahoma, on Jan. 11, 1941. (Thank to the anonymous reader who provided this link to his obituary.) He was possessed of unique physique, an extreme ectomorph with hypermobility (he was real tall and thin and double-jointed). Slapping the monicker of The Stick onto himself, he takes a credit as Malvert the Janitor in Mickey Rose’s single directorial effort, the 1981 slasher parody film “Student Bodies.”

Rose, a talented comedy writer who started off in high school with friend Woody Allen, cranked out this spoof with efficient fervor. It’s one of a long line of horror-comedy films, from “Ghost Breakers” through “Spider Baby,” the “scary Movie” series, and the new “What We Do in the Shadows.” “Student Bodies” trips along in the scattershot modality of the “riffing” film, made popular in the wake of “Airplane!”.

Varnell (as The Stick) portrays school janitor Malvert, who ambles artlessly through many scenes casually eating half-eaten trash off the lawn . . . without bending over, peeing in the wastebaskets, bringing a blow-up date to the big game, lapping punch out of the bowl at the high-school dance.

Malvert is a revolting grotesque. His ratty hair, thick glasses and spasmodic movements mark him as the archetypal outsider, the freak of nature. As such, he is naturally the first suspect in the serial murders of the local teens who choose to have sex. Of course, he winds up being not only a kind of childishly innocent monster, but a magical helper as well to the movie’s endangered heroine, stealing the keys (and incidentally, the cheese) of the school principal.

After “Student Bodies,” Varnell accumulates only one more credit. He can be glimpsed in the pilot episode of “Out of Control” in 1984. This was the first series produced by Nickelodeon, and featured Dave Coulier as host, right before he moved on to the immortal role of Joey on “Full House.” This anthology show featured comic bits interspersed with semi-educational material, a la ABC’s “Make a Wish” a decade earlier, pitched again to the 5-12-age set.

Once again, Varnell is used purely for his comic physical anomalies, cutting briefly into focus. Like a fright mask, his unexplained injection into the sketch serves to trigger incredulity, discomfort, and (hopefully) some laughs.


Was he witty? Was he in on the joke his appearance had forced upon him? At the end of "Student Bodeis," an it-was-all-a-dream scene takes place, and Malvert is evidently a tweed-clad intellectual. "I dreamed you were the janitor!" the heroine exclaims. "Ab-SUHD!" Malvert responds.

Quasimodo’s crowning as the Pope of Fools in Hugo’s “Hunchback of Notre Dame,” paraded around Paris – what did he make of the inversion of his status? “. . . disdainful joy lighted up the morose face of the cyclops, when he beheld beneath his deformed feet all those heads of handsome, straight, well-made men." Does mockery elevate the different, or does holding them higher only make them a better targetto spit at, to inspire awkward, uneasy laughter?

Did Varnell take it well? Did it dishearten him? Is that just show biz?

He died in Dallas on May 7, 1989, aged 48.

Friday, September 20, 2013

CULTURAMA: Green Lama, the original Fighting Buddhist(?)

I live in Boulder, Colorado, and you can’t throw a brick around here without hitting a Buddhist. Believe me, I’ve tried.

(Of course, we are enjoying notoriety currently as the site of recent severe flooding. We were not victims, as we live on less valuable property on a ridge east of town. In a weird kind of anti-Katrina motif, many houses ruined by the flood are on the pricey end – because they overlooked the picturesque running water. Here’s my flood story: our cable went out. Sorry.)

Anyway, Eastern practices are alive and thriving here in Lotusland by the Rockies, where therapists of every ilk, Trustafarians (white Rastas), marijuana-industry professionals, organic Puritans, the digerati, academic theorists, exer-fascists, and eerily similar clumps of nonconformists intermingle like exotic species in a game preserve, fenced off from the mundane world.

So who would ever serve as Boulder’s superheroic champion? I nominate the Green Lama. I found this Golden Age champion via a short-lived CBS radio series that served as a summer replacement in 1949. Kendall Foster Crossen penned these episodes, based on his original pulp-fiction stories that first saw light in 1940. The unmistakable basso voice of Paul Frees embodied our hero.


The Green Lama is, in reality, the oddly named Jethro Dumont, another wealthy young socialite in the Batman tradition, whose parents conveniently orphan while he’s at Harvard. He differs from the Caped Crusader in that he studies for a decade in Tibet to gain enlightenment and purpose.

As the anonymous Wikipedia contributor succinctly states, "He returned to America intending to spread the basic doctrines of Tibetan Buddhism (remove ignorance and relieve suffering), but realized that he could accomplish more by fighting crime."


OK.

With the help of both his soul power and various other abilities (depending on the medium) including flight, invisibility, energy beams, and such, generated at least during his beginnings by the use of “radioactive salts,” he battles criminals, murderers, international cabals, and even the Axis.

The idea of taking a spiritual practice a central pillar of which is Ahimsa, or non-violence, and making it fuel a two-fisted ethical vigilante’s struggle for justice is a unique American inversion of impulse. The air of Oriental mystery, coupled with Crossen’s accurate research and usage of Tibetan mantras, was meant to ape and rival the exploits of the more popular Shadow, who as Lamont Cranston learned the “power to cloud men’s minds” while traveling in East Asia.

The Green Lama sprang to life in pulp fiction, then migrated to comics and radio, surprisingly reincarnating in various graphic-novel forms, and even a live aerial dance performance, in the recent past . . . coming back to life again and again just as a Buddhist does. Here in the land of yoga mats and TOMS, he could be the savior we muddy, unenlightened ones are looking for.

“Om –mane –padme –OM!”


NRR Project: Mort Sahl's 'At Sunset' (1955/1958)

NRR Project: ‘At Sunset’ Written and performed by Mort Sahl Recorded 1955; released 1958 54:36 Mort Sahl was revered as an innovativ...