Saturday, June 4, 2016

My National Donut Day story

I was on my way to a party last night (OK, it’s tonight, because I’m a genius) and I stopped at the store to get something to bring. I’m tired, my feet hurt, I grabbed the first thing I saw – a box of a dozen assorted doughnuts (NOT DONUTS; don’t get me started, or I will have a conniption fit). They were discounted twice. I was so lazy that I not only grabbed something off the closest display to me as I entered, I picked the one on the top because I’m too lazy to even expend the energy to BEND.

As I shuffle with the box to the checkout, a voice comes over the loudspeaker announcing that doughnuts are discounted A THIRD TIME. The checker makes sure I get the discount, and I am generally applauded by the staff for making the purchase. “Buying doughnuts!” they exclaim, nodding their heads and almost pumping their fists.


Now, one of two things has happened here – either they made waaaaaay too many doughnuts yesterday, or I entered a state of mystical grace imposed by the Doughnut Dimension, turning a reluctant errand into a triumphal progress out of “Excalibur.” 


The End. Oh, we kept the doughnuts They’re good!